Lockdown 2020 – A lovely walk + a rant – 7th May 2020

This morning our day started topsy turvy. I started my day by prepping dinner. We were having a hotpot for dinner and to save me using the large roasting tray – which I had used last night for lasagne and it still had leftovers in it – I was going to use our slow cooker. I prepped all the ingredients before adding them all together and cooking them before placing them in the slow cooker to cook until later. I added the potato slices on top and left it to cook while we got on with our day.

While I had been cooking Bella had been playing in the living room with her toot toot toys. Well I say with her toot toot toys, she was actually just using the little house her toot toot dog lives in but the dog is in her bedroom and she was playing with princesses and Duplo people.

Once I’d finished prepping the dinner and Bella was happy to leave her toys we went for our weekly walk. I know a lot of people are going for daily walks but my anxiety can just about cope with one a week. We got ourselves ready and then headed out.

We had heard reports of someone being a bit creepy over by the orchards over the weekend. Liam was staying at home but said if we had any trouble to give him a call and he’d be straight over. Bella wanted to wear a jumper even though it was baking outside but that’s what she wanted.

We walked over to the fields. I couldn’t believe how many cars were on the road. We were trying to cross over to the entrance to the fields and we had to wait for several minutes for there to be a break in the traffic.

*Rant alart!*

It’s insane. We are still on lockdown so why is everyone out. I’m seriously waiting for the second wave of infections. People end up getting complacent and bored and decide to go sod it, it’s not affected me so I’m gonna do what I please. I however feel my family and friends’ health is far more important than my boredom. I refuse to mingle with other people because how would I feel if I accidently gave them the infection and even worse if they gave it to Bella. I mean that’s a whole new level of stupid if entertaining yourself is far more important than those you love’s health.

Ah got fed up of sitting at home so I thought I’d go to the shop and get some snacks and then go to my parents for a movie day. Three weeks later, oh yeah my mum died of corona and there’s a chance I’m the one responsible for spreading it to her because spending a couple of hours with her was far more important than any of our health or even life. Opps! My bad! Like seriously people stop being selfish and think how you would feel if you lost a family member because of your boredom. Just winds me up so bad that people don’t get how bad it is.

I admit I’m bored and having Bella here 24/7 is driving me insane at times. Especially not being able to take her to the park or the beach but her health and life is far more important to me than getting five minutes peace. I would never forgive myself if me wanting those few minutes break resulted in her being exposed to the virus and then spending weeks fighting it, potentially ending up in hospital and dying. I’ve watched some fight just a chest infection, barely being able to breath and because they don’t think their gonna make it, they weren’t put on a ventilator. Be told that because of something seemingly so silly they might not see the next 24 hours and inform the family. The panic as that person struggles to breathe. And we were luckily we were able to sit round their bed and joke and hold their hand with the only thing being restrictive an oxygen mask. And I live with guilt every day thinking if only I’d rung a doctor sooner or taken her to hospital. That guilt never leaves no matter how many times people tell you it’s not your fault you did everything right. There’s always something you could do different. If people want to live with the knowledge that that is happening to their loved one and can live with the potential guilt, go for it. Do what you want!

Sorry for my rant but it’s so frustrating when I’m trying to keep my family safe.

*Rant over!*

We walked into the field and today Bella decided she wanted to walk towards the hill. I knew several ways home coming off the hill so I was happy to head that way.

We hadn’t even gotten very far down the footpath when Bella said she wanted to sit on my shoulders – that’s Daly’s fault. I agreed and let her sit on my shoulders because I knew it would be easier to carry her like that than on my hip.

Off we went again. We walked to the bottom of the hill but then Bella wanted to go to the left back towards the houses and down a little wooded path. I hadn’t been this way for about 2 years. Last time I walked this way was when I was doing my photography course and I took a cute photo of Bella running down the path through the autumn leaves in her cute red coat. I now use that photo on my business cards and as my business profile picture.

We walked along the path with Bella on my shoulders as they gradually burned. Oh man carrying Bella was a definite work out.

We made it through to the lane back towards the main road and Bella had to get off my shoulders. She wasn’t too happy about walking again but she had to suck it up. We walked down the lane, with Bella pretending to be a car and made it up to the main road.

We headed down the road past the houses and Bella looked out for rainbows again. We found a big one made out of post it notes in someone’s up stairs window but didn’t find any others. We walked back through the park and Bella moaned that it was a long way home even though she could see the house. I think she was just enjoying moaning today.

When we got home my weighted hoop had turned up so I put it together and went for a spin in the garden while Bella watched TV. According to Bella I was hoopa hooping. So cute. I’ve signed up to online hoop classes in the hopes to loose some weight. I’ve managed to put on weight during this look down, not surprising.

When I came inside it was time for Bella’s nursery session online. They were having a story followed by a craft today. I had set up Bella’s table in front of the TV and while Bella was listening to the story I got all of the resources together. She needed a paper plate, orange paint, black paper, and some glue.

Bella sat and listened nicely to the story the Tiger who came to Tea. Once the story was over she sat up at the table and listened to the instructions. She painted her plate orange.

Then she had to tear up the black paper. She struggled with this bit but with some help she finally got there.

Once all the paper was torn up she needed to glue it onto the plate to make the tiger stripes. Her nursery nurse said the idea was to give them skills to make something rather than making an all singing all dancing tiger.

Bella, however, wanted to turn it into a tiger. I went and found her some googly eyes. She glued them on. Then she cut out some triangles for ears and glued them on.

And finally drew a nose on some pink card before cutting it out and gluing it on. She was very proud of her tiger. We sent a photo of it to her nursery so they could see what she had created.

That evening before dinner Bella seemed to get a burst of energy. She spent a good half an hour running from the living room to the dinning room and back. That child never tires.

Stay safe.

Night all and let’s see what adventures tomorrow holds for us.

Love CiCi x

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